Joke: john was on his way to school. He was supposed to take taxi to the school: john: How much is the fare to the campus? DRIVER: 50dollars. John: What about my load? DRIVER: I won’t charge you that. John: Then take my load to the school I can walk.

Joke of the Day:


Two men planned to run away from the psychiatric hospital. They started planning and agreed that they will go to the gate, beat up the watchman, open the gate and run away. When they reached the gate, the watchman was not there and the gate was wide open. They turned to each other and said "shit! our plan has failed, lets go back, we will try again tomorrow....

Joke of the Day: i slept very hungry and saw bread in my dream, I took it and started eating it in my dream after I finished eating it,I saw a coconut & decided to eat it too but I didn't see a knife to cut it.So I decided to use my teeth only to receive a strong dirty slap from my elder brother! U don finish pillow....Now na my head u dey chew.... U be witch!? Abeg Na my Fault??

Happy new month viewers... Please like my Facebook page for more jokes @ #dheelite

Joke: There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?” The third fellow says “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.” The first two guys were amazed. “What happened then?” they asked. “She said, ‘get out from under the bed and fight like a man’.”

#Dheelite 1. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. (Truman Capote) Interpretation:Success is not as sweet if you’ve never experienced failure. 2. You make a living by what you get; you make a life by what you give. (Winston Churchill) Interpretation:The value of your life has nothing to do with how much money you earn; it is determined by what you give to others. 3. Luck is a dividend of sweat. The more you sweat, the luckier you get. (Ray Kroc) Interpretation:Good things happen not because of “luck,” but because you work hard to get them. 4. If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundation is under them. (Henry David Thoreau) Interpretation:A dream that exists only in your mind is not useless. Use it to create the reality you want. 5. There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them. (Denis Waitley) please like my page #dheelite for more jokes and quotes.

‪# WORLDCUP‬NEWS HEADLINES 1. Enyeama ranked best goalkeeper so far in the on-going FIFA World Cup by Castrol’s player rating index 2. Cristiano Ronaldo: I never thought 'average' Portugal could win the World Cup 3. Three-match ban ends Song's World Cup 4. Thiago Silva: Fred doesn't need goals to prove his worth 5. Klinsmann: No time for friendship in Germany clash 6. Nani: Portugal grieving after draw 7. My fitness was key, reveals Hazard 8. Capello: We were caught out trying to win the game 9. Messi needs help - Di Maria 10. Berlusconi: Balotelli is not irreplaceable 11. Maradona lashes out at Argentina FA chief 12. Enyeama Tops Best Goalie Rankings! 13. Keshi: My Eagles’ll Get Better‪# WORLDCUP‬NEWS HEADLINES 1. Enyeama ranked best goalkeeper so far in the on-going FIFA World Cup by Castrol’s player rating index 2. Cristiano Ronaldo: I never thought 'average' Portugal could win the World Cup 3. Three-match ban ends Song's World Cup 4. Thiago Silva: Fred doesn't need goals to prove his worth 5. Klinsmann: No time for friendship in Germany clash 6. Nani: Portugal grieving after draw 7. My fitness was key, reveals Hazard 8. Capello: We were caught out trying to win the game 9. Messi needs help - Di Maria 10. Berlusconi: Balotelli is not irreplaceable 11. Maradona lashes out at Argentina FA chief 12. Enyeama Tops Best Goalie Rankings! 13. Keshi: My Eagles’ll Get Better