Joke: Mr. Bean was on a high speed, he got to an Army checkpoint without slowing down, so Mr. Bean was told to park his car and ordered to carry 1000 blocks from one Side of the road to the other side. After carrying 900 blocks, he noticed that their' COMMANDER' was his Primary School classmate. Mr. Bean went to complain to COMMANDER, The COMMANDER was really angry with what his Boys told his Long time classmate Mr. Bean to do, So he asked Mr. Bean ''have you started carrying the blocks?, Mr. Bean said''I have carried 900 already, so the COMMANDER said "Please don't be angry,''RETURN THEM PLEASE'.

Joke: A husband and his wife were arguing on who is more scared between the both of them. After a long argument, they decided to ask their two kids. The first Kid, Sam, says, "Dad is more scared. Anytime he sees a beautiful lady in town, he closes one of his eye." The wife realizing d meaning, was very furious at her husband. After arguing for a little bit, they asked their second kid, Jenny. And she says, "Daddy is not scared of anything, but mummy is always scared so much, she cant be alone. When dad works night shift, mummy sleeps with the man next door. Sometimes she invites the Gardener or Uncle Kingsley to sleep with Her. Even Uncle Jay the Youth Corper, after leaving the room escorts her to the bathroom and bath with her just because she's scared." THE HUSBAND FAINTED!

Moral: She takes her clothes off and walks towards him... BF: Put your clothes back on dear GF: why dear BF: nothing, just put it back on. (stands up to help her put her dress on) GF: (grabs him and whispers in a near shout) u dont love me, right? BF: I love you and thats why i'm gonna wait for the right time... GF: so, this is not the right time? BF: No GF: (scoffs) when then? ur just doing this cos you don't love me BF: when you have your clothes on, I see right inside of you and the beauty i found therein, is the reason i am so in love with you... (GF eyes lights up as she zips up her dress again) (BF HUGS GF and whispers) and the right time will be our wedding night GF: ( screams in delight ) I Love you honey.. so so much! DO SUCH GUY EXIST???

BRAIN TEASER You're in a mansion and the power's out. You see a green door and a red door. Pick one (it doesn't matter which.) Now you see a purple door and a orange door. Pick one (again, it doesn't matter which you pick). Now you see a door with a golden handle and a door with a silver handle. Pick one. You finally come to some signs on three doors. One says "Death from drowning," another says "Death from machine guns," and the last one says "Death from electric chair." Then you see a big sign off to the side that says "Or stay in the mansion and starve to death." What do you choose and still live?

Fun time: ANSWER ACCORDING TO YOUR MONTH OF BIRTH (Be Honest) 1. JANUARY- Are You happy in your current relationship? 2. FEBRUARY- What is your nick name? 3. MARCH- How many ex's do you have? 4. APRIL- What's your current ringtone? 5. MAY- Name your Favorite movie 6. JUNE- Where do you see yourself in 5years time? 7. JULY- Have you ever been cheated on? 8. AUGUST- Are you single or taken? 9. SEPTEMBER- When was the last time you cried? 10. OCTOBER- Do you see yourself getting married to your current partner? 11. NOVEMBER- Are you still a virgin? 12. DECEMBER- Do you still love your ex? Write Your Month Then Answer...

TODAY'S SOCCER HEADLINES 1. Shakira: Pique will be Barca president & I’ll be first lady! 2. Rodgers: Suspended Henderson still vital for Liverpool 3. Ibrahimovic absence could be crucial, says Gonalons 4. Rolando eager to stay at Inter 5. Toshack: It's cruel to blame Messi for Barcelona slump 6. Moyes wants respect from Everton fans 7. I'll be back for Atletico clash, says Neymar 8. Thiago Silva demands PSG reaction in Coupe de la Ligue final 9. Ibrahimovic's absence changes everything, admits PSG boss Blanc 10. Holland: FA could have helped Chelsea more in Champions League 11. Manchester United have failed this season, admits Phil Neville 12. Guardiola let Ibrahimovic down - Raiola 13. Atletico have mentality and strength to win La Liga, says Costa 14. Di Maria defends 'scapegoat' Messi 15. Yaya Toure: I don't get recognition because I'm African source from :-SUREBET247.COM

Relationship tip Lies help no one in the long run. So… 1) Don’t say “I love you” if you don’t mean it. 2) Don’t say “I understand” if you have no clue. 3) Don’t say “I’m sorry” if you’re not. 4) Be honest with yourself and your loved ones.